Girlfriend....Im Just asking... How big of a role does money play in a relationship...

Girlfriend... I'm just asking is it ALL about the cash??

A good friend of mine once said " Romance without Finance is a Nuisance"
THESE ARE THE WORDS THAT I LIVE BY....

In my opinion... As a hard working young woman it's hard to wrap your head around a broke man. you think wait a minute if I manage to wake up every morning work 1 or 2 jobs and go to school.. why cant you do the same?

I truly believe Money plays a big role in a relationship...
It cost to wine and dine--while dating.
Money is the number one reason for divorces in America.
Being stressed over bills can affect a relationship.

Men have always been made out to be the PROVIDERS...and i feel like that is something a man should do.
Needless to say ladies... if we want a man to Provide for us we must bring something to the table more then just laying on our back.

Another Reason i believe money plays a major role in relationships is the "STRUGGLE" of being broke. There is nothing like that feeling of living paycheck to paycheck or being behind on some bills.... and you would hope your significant other could get you out of that tough spot... But nothing is more frustrating then realizing they cant help because they are worse off then you.....

I remember being 16 years old at the bus stop and wouldn't talk to any boys walking or on a bike... my thought process was "TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT" so there is no reason the both of us need to be in the hot sun waiting for the bus... I needed a boyfriend with a car. LOL!

So i guess in Nutshell... I'm asking Girlfriend... are relationships built on finances... As women do we Strive for a man with success and money... Will we put up with more crap as long as we are comfortable.... you know the saying " If you gonna live in a dog house -- Make sure it's a dog Mansion"....

Whats your take on this.....

Girlfriend... Im jast Asking.. Whats up with all these Broken homes?

Girlfriend Im just asking.... Why is it so excepted to be a Baby mamma or Baby Daddy now days?
What happened to planned parent hood?
So this is a pretty "touchy" topic due to the fact that sooooooo many people deal with this issue or live this life style.

I guess maybe i have a bias view because i come from a two parent home...but on the other hand.... there are just some things i think are just common sense.

A.) birth control is always cheaper then a pack of diapers.

B.) the head ache and heart ache can be avoided with planning
( not saying that you will always be 100 % prepared but a lil preparation wouldn't hurt)

C.) A when this child grows up -- do you want them to live in a broken home?
( statistics show that kids that come from 2 parent homes are more likely to succeed in life)

D.) Is this the example you want to show your off spring? -- How can you tell them to wait for marriage or to have children with one person when you haven't done it?


Soo... I guess my question in a NutShell is why is the words "BABY-MAMMA & BABY-DADDY" so GLORIFIED?
I feel as if that's all some young people aspire to be... I go to more baby showers... then bridal showers..
I hear men talking about having a seed... but Never really hear about anyone purchasing a ring...

So who's fault is it.... the women? Are we settling for just a baby in hopes to keep a man... or Is it the men? Do they just want to reproduce without committing to the woman and family life?
or maybe it is our society in a whole ... Have we been conditioned to think that have two parent homes are now obsolete?

GirlFriend.... I'm Just Asking.... Why can't i see more Chocolate sisters on my TV and in the Magazines

Your Pretty For a Dark Skin Girl.....
This is just one of the comments I have heard throughout my life.
But, why cant i Be Considered Just Pretty?
What is soooooo Wrong with having a Dark Complexion?

When you Flip through Magazines... or Turn on your T.v. Why aren't
there MORE dark skinned black women being shown?

For example when you Look at a Commercial for a Black product
they show you a Very Light Skinned black person or maybe bi-racial person.....Who doesn't look like the black girl next door... or like the vast majority of black people who will be using this product or service.

Another example.... is you turn on your Television and you flip on B.E.T.
and the Host for one it's most popular shows 106 park is a Puerto Rican
girl... This is (BLACK ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION) but yet the face of
the channels MAIN SHOW is Not even African American.... Not taking anything away from Roxy but i don't see Gabrielle Union Hosting a Segment on Telomundo.....

Recently..... CoverGirl went under fire for Lightening then skin of Beyonce and making her nose pointy.... Now... Beyonce is already on the lighter side of the color spectrum when it comes to black people... So are they trying to say.... though you sold millions of albums and is an international star... your features are still too black......

These are just a Few examples.... of things that are fed into the African American Community... that has little dark skinned girls thinking ..." hmmm im NOT pretty because I'm too dark -- i don't look like the women on TV or magazines"

I have more and can go on and on for days...
Artist like P.diddy and walle have come under a lot of scurtiny over having music videos and adviertisements... with only white or hispanic women --when the majority of their supporters and consumers are black...

just sit back and think... Whens the last time you seen a Dark Skin woman make a big break in the music industry and or modeling industry???
All most every widely known black woman in the music industry has a light complexion.... nikki minaj, beyonce , rihanna , amarie .. and many more....

but these things have left me asking... girlfriend whats wrong with being a beautiful chocolate sistah and why cant we see more of them????

GirlFriend Im Just Asking..... Why all of a suden being the other woman is cool??

Girlfriend I'm just asking.... Why is it now a days its OK to be the "side-line Hoe"?

If you turn on your television it has been everywhere... from Tiger woods to Sandra Bullocks Husband Jesse James and now ex-NFL star and sports commentator Tiki Barber.
All these men are married to respectable beautiful women but they cheat on them repeatedly and even in some cases leave them for SKANKY WOMEN... such as strippers and nude models.
Women who clearly aren't on the same level as their wives.......


So why do you think this is? ........
A.) Are all men all DOGS and cant stay in a committed relationship no matter who the woman is.
(shoot if a dude can cheat on Halle Berry-- does anyone stand a chance out here?)

B.) Are the women in these relationships getting too comfortable? Did they loose their spark... no more lingerie... or dirty talk... have they become boring... forcing their husbands to step out on them.....
(you know the old saying... a lady in the street... a freak in the sheets)

C.) Or is it the Other women's fault? If they know the man is married... why do they continue the relationship? Or is the man held fully responsible for the affair?

Last night it was watching Inside Edition and they had the Stripper Sandra Bullock's Husband allegedly had an affair with... and she was asked Similar questions and her answer was basically " She wasn't the one that took the vows -- so shes not at fault and he is the one who pursued her"...

Hmmm... I personally don't agree with that response because as a woman if your FULLY AWARE that the man a married with a family at home... you should be strong enough to walk away.. because if the shoe was on the other foot i doubt you would like being cheated on.. especially knowing the other woman knows all about you and just don't care...that's she is ruining your marriage and just being plain out selfish....


Now on the other hand... these women who cheat with HIGH PROFILE men... its almost like a Strategic Career move...because once the affair makes the news... these women get opportunities to be on television shows... magazine photo shoots and tell all books... its almost as if the media is Thanking them for being a lil slut....

Well I would personally hate to find out that the man I'm married to is cheating on me-- especially if its with some Fake boob, cocktail waitress with barely finished high school.

But Girlfriend I'm Just Asking.... When did it become acceptable to be the "OTHER WOMAN" ??

GirlFriend.... Im just asking... Wuz up with dating older men?

Whats the deal with dating older men?
Why do young beautiful women flock to Older Guys?
Is it that they Secretly long for a Father figure .... When we look at a man in his early 40's do we see * STABILITY* ??

I hear from a lot of ladies that older men are attractive because they don't play as many GAMES as men in their age group.
Ive also heard that older men like to be in committed relationships where as younger men want to date several women at one time.
and last but not least.... and i must say its my personal favorite because it makes me laugh every time.... young women say they prefer an older man because they are more experienced in the bedroom. LOL!! i hear old men are NASTY!!!

But on the Flip side.....
There is a couple of things i think young women don't take into consideration when dating an older man.
when you become exclusive with these men who are 10 , 15 maybe 20 years your senior you have to ask yourself....
What stage in life is he in ???? Does it match with mine???
for example... if your in your mid to late 20's and your man is in his 40's .... and you want to start a family.... Does he want that? Does he already have older children or maybe he doesn't feel like going through the terrible two's again.

Another example is your still very youthful and might enjoy hitting the scene every now and again... would he feel comfortable going?? or did he grow out of the clubbing phase.

Also... when dating a man that older... theirs a high chance he has been previously married... are you ready to deal with...... his ex-wife or kids... that might be close to your age.


So i guess the question I'm trying to ask... is the grass always Greener...when dating outside your age group....

Girlfriend... Im Just asking ... How do you feel about the statistic that 42% of black women will NEVER get married?

Recent statistics Show that 42 % of black women will NEVER jump the broom...
Wow!! That is nearly half of the female African American Population.
Now the really Question is.... As Black women do we set unrealistic goals for our relationships?
Are black men REALLY as bad as we often hear? Are sistah's even considering dating outside their race?

These are just a few questions that come to my mind when i here such staggering statistics.
A close male friend of mine said to me once -- " The problem with a lot of these young black women now days is that they get caught up on these reality shows .. like " real housewives of Atlanta" and they want that type of life style immediately... they don't want to struggle or grow with a man... they just want to be spoiled from day one."

Ladies, is this true?
Are we coming to the table with nothing to offer but expecting the world.
Do we see women on T.v. that are date celebrities and driving Range Rovers toting Louis Vuitton luggage and Associating that with what a "REAL" relationship is suppose to be?


As a very MATERIALISTIC person i can say at times i can get wrapped up in the trends.
And maybe in the back of my mind... i kinda think if a man loves me he will get me these things...


So in a NUTSHELL--" Why are nearly Half of us not making it down the aisle?
Are our expectations to high? and do we associate love with
material things"

Girlfriend... Im Just Saying... My First intial Blog

Hello,
My name is Ms. Bonny... I was inspired to write a blog after i found myself VENTING to friends and on my Facebook page about the Trials and Tribulations that Black women go through in their day to day lives. From love to dating, from family to friends and reaching goals or achieving more than what we expected from ourselves.
I hope my reader find my blog to be a place where they can Relate , Learn and Laugh.
A little bit about myself -- I am 24 year old single Black woman living in South Florida -- trying to juggle a social life, building a love life, and Just being plain out Successful.
I entitled my blog " Girlfriend.. Im Just saying" because I want to talk to my readers as if they were a longtime friend..
When im sharing my experiences... i will tell the story through my eyes.. what i saw, how i felt and what questions if any i might have.
I hope you enjoy it... and follow my growth as an individual.