Mood: State of Confusion
Girlfriend I'm just asking.... Has the game changed? What are Bruthas really looking for? and do we really have what they are looking for?
So, I was talking with multiple male friends of mine and they all had very similar stories... and it was really shocking to hear what they were saying...
All of them were in relationships with black women for multiple years.
All of them claim they took care of their women mentally , emotionally and financially saying their girl didn't want for anything one even said his girl had a monthly allowance of 12-hundred a month.
But here is where stuff goes down hill... Each of them said... their girl NEVER cleaned.. NEVER cooked.. Complained a lot... and some didn't even work...
THIS LEFT ME IN A STATE OF CONFUSION.....
So i asked... why did you stay?
All of them responded the same way ... They loved her... they were comfortable..they invested so much they didn't want to let go.
NOW.... as a result of these horrible relationships All these guys either have commitment issues or have turned their back on black women as a whole...
SO I ASKED....
Why don't you want to date black girls anymore?
and this was the response...
They like to argue...
They are ungrateful...
They don't know how to let a man be a man...
MY NEXT QUESTION WAS SO WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN DATING WOMEN OF OTHER RACES THAT YOU DON'T GET FROM BLACK WOMEN?
I heard... this " When i am in a relationship with a Hispanic or Caucasian woman... its less confrontational. The house is clean, my dinner cooked and I see more smiles then frowns"
REALLY?
So my questions to my Sistah is...
WHAT DA HELL IS GOING ON?
Are some of us really out here keeping a dirty houses?
Not taking care of our men?
Using and abusing?
Are we quick to Argue but less likely to talk about things like a rational adult?
ON ANOTHER NOTE -- BUT NOT OFF TOPIC...
Black girls we need to step up when it comes to our bodies.
we are QUICK TO PICK UP A 200 DOLLAR OUTFIT, PUT RIMS ON OUR CARS, BUY WEAVES COSTING HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS but we WONT invest in our bodies.
when I'm at the gym @ 7 am its full of women... but only a few are black women...
we lead in Heart Disease, High Blood Pressure & Diabetes...
YES IT TRUE Not everyone is meant to be a size zero BUT everyone should be a size HEALTHY!
So in conclusion... Sistahs we are ALWAYS complaining about there is NO GOOD BLACK MEN OUT THERE.... but are we doing what it take to Get a GOOD MAN and Keep Him?
Lemme Know what you think?
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I think you all are, but it has to be a compromise on both sides, because we are in a day and age where alot of women scream independent, but then they look for a man to take over where they were once able to do for themselves. We as men have to be honest with ourselves, some of us do have the intangibles to be great providers, companions, etc. We are just afraid to commit ourselves to the relationship and truly divulge our time. If we love some one then we should learn of positive way to help build one another up. We tend to get caught on the wrong things that life has to offer. Women that feel there are no god men, you have to soul search and find what may be the reason that keeps you from harnessing those emotions, I know that maybe you've been hurt in the past, but every man isn't the same. Love is pain regardless of what you say because even when you find the man of your dreams, you will still go through trials and tribulations. Love comes with a cost every time, it will be so until the end of time. As men we have to just learn how to be content, and make a conscience effort to solidify the foundation of our relationships and stop running out on petty shit, same goes to the women, because in life most arguments can be easily reconciled if we take time to truly hear one another side in the debate and then go about it with the right positive reinforcements in order to come to a solution, Ladies you keep saying there isn't a good man on earth left, then you'll most likely be lonely forever because in order to heal a heart one must be prepared to take the pains that come with love, just take your times before your divulge yourself to that man, he has to show and prove, be of his words, better yet, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....that's my 2cents
ReplyDeleteI think in this particular blog you pin pointed a lot of issues as far as the confrontation, physical appearance, as well as the cleaning thing because I hear that a lot as well. Let's go down the list one by one from my understanding.
ReplyDeleteConfrontation- I strongly believe that culture has a lot to do with it. Like for instance you are my friend and we are both African-American women. The way I would confront you about an issue, I wouldn't confront a Caucasian or Latin women the same way because she/he would probably not understand. Feel me? I'm pretty sure this would be the same for a Black Man with a woman of another race and Vice Versa!
Physical Appearance- This has a lot to do with the environment and resources that we as black people have. A lot of us unfortunately are unable to eat as healthy as we want for many reason and then it's the natural build of the black woman’s body.
The cleaning part, I am totally lost on that one and these are just a few things to touch on. IDK??? This is just my 2 cents
Girllllllll Im soooo Sick of Black men saying they date Hispanic/Caucasian cause we black women are drama, have attitude and/or Confrontational. As a black woman I'm very open I date any Race, I could careless if some black men preferred Hispanic/Caucasian but don't say we "Drama, dirty, and don't take care of ourselves" when being asked why date Hispanic/Caucasian instead??...I Keep a clean house, I don't like to cooking but I will cook for my man, I like to talk things through over starting meaningless arguments.. most importantly I take good care of myself, I go jogging 5 days a week because when we look good/healthy we feel good :)...I will not put up with nooooo man's b.s and thats just it, most Hispanic/Caucasian will put up with all their b.s
ReplyDelete*smh* This Topic always get me heated lol
but anyways love the blog..keep it up.
Take Care :)
Love-Priiincesss
That is bloody ridiculous!!
ReplyDeleteWhy can't the men cook AND clean? Is something wrong with them? lol
Don't use that as an excuse for dating Hispanic or Caucasian ladies.
Be with your spouse because you love them and you mesh well together.
I am with my hubs because I love him not because a black man hurt me.
Ugh! A relationship is what you make it. Did you ever sit back and think for one minute why she won't cook, clean or get a job? If a man is taking care of a woman, some women don't find the need to work. I think a woman should still work because thats a sign of independence. I also agree that they tend to be ungrateful at times. Living comfortable = lazy. A person only does what you allow them to do. A woman gets so comfortable with the materialistic things that you as a person might not even matter. So before it gets to the point where you end up calling it quits, have a sit down and address your issues. That is all.
ReplyDelete